Maternity Leave-Unemployment

Since Kiernan has been born I have been on, what I like to call, mat leave unemployment.  Though receiving Employment Insurance from the government, I also have no job to return to - thus the term.

This is the first time I have been unemployed since I graduated from University in 1998.  It was depressing then and it is depressing now.  Despite having worked consistently for the last decade (with a few years for a graduate degree) and developing skills which I *think* are quite marketable - I still have not managed to secure a position to go back to in December.

Oh, but I have been looking!  I counted - I have 82 websites which I peruse weekly for new postings.  82!!!!  I have come close to winning two competitions but in the end, they went with folks with other languages. Merd!  Every time I send out a resume, its a little bubble of hope that someone on the other end will find me worthy of a half hour conversation.

What I have learned throughout this process is to be much kinder in the future to those seeking employment. And, in the next lifetime, to be fluently bilingual before graduating high school.

And what has the little one been up to??

While I have continued my cake baking and decorating pursuits - Kiernan continues to grow and learn and generally get cuter by the second. So far - he is still pretty much a quiet guy, but has learned how to make farting noises with his mouth (from his FATHER! I swear!)...
...how to rock a mohawk...

.....as well as a more conservative look...

...dorky hats....

...and dorkier parents!


In all seriousness, Kiernan has grown to be quite the charming little human being. He now has two teeth - bottom of course. He likes to talk and has a wide ranging vocabulary of "ba-ba," "ma-ma" and, "da-da." No crawling or walking yet - and its OKAY!!!! He will get there when he wants to, and he doesnt want to. He would much rather throw food on the ground for the dog and then pull cat fur from their bodies. Ah, boys.

A Summer of Baking

So what do you do when you are on maternity leave and have already organised every cabinet in the house? Bake, of course !!!

Which brings me to - Princess birthday cakes. In August, I was asked by my dear niece to make her birthday party cake. I agreed, but somehow in her mother's mind it became cakeS:

(1) One pink Princess crown cake for the kids' party, and;

(2) One rainbow cake WITH butterfly for the adults' party.

Note: (The butterfly was emphasized over and over and over again by the soon to be 6 year old - so I had to deliver.)

Cake #1: The Rainbow Cake

Friday evening, I made Cake #1.. Charlotte (5 turning 6) and Sophie (2 turning 3) insisted on helping - which I thought would be fun. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm......not so much. Due to their assistance, some mistakes were made. I got totally confused with proportions and ended up having to play with the batter until I felt I was close enough to having it right. 45 minutes later (even though the instructions said it should take 29 minutes) the cake came out and I kept my fingers crossed that it didn't taste like cardboard.

Come Saturday, I began to decorate (Kiernan was bonding with his Daddy). I decided on the blue icing because, as we all know, rainbows are in the SKY (see how creative I am?). I then did the classic rainbow with butterfly (WTF?) with "Happy 6th" written underneath. Why "Happy 6th" you may ask? Well, simply put - I ran out of room. Martha Stewart I am not. Note that the rainbow also looked as though I was drunk while applying. I can attest that I was not, but next time perhaps I should be.

Cake #2: Princess Crown Cake

Using a pan rented from Bulk Burn, I made a mix using two, count 'em TWO, cake mixes. In other words - a huge a$$ cake.

Next up - the rough icing stage, also known as the crumb coat. This was surprisingly difficult as the cake was super soft and 'crumby' (I'm sure its an actual word...somewhere) and the prongs of the crown kept on wanting to break off. At this point there was a lot of swearing at said F*****G Princess Crown Cake.

Then, the coat of pink icing. I believe we were at about hour three of cake decorating at this point. Good thing I had lots of coffee on the go.

Hour four and I started to apply the pieces of candy that the niece had chosen at the store.

And finally - stars are applied and, the nieces name. Grand total of hours contributed towards cake decorating? 5.

Hubby and I then packed up our son and the very large pink Princess cake spectacular to head to the local movie theatre and drop it off for the birthday party. In I went, carrying what seemed like 20 pounds of pink cake. And I wandered....and wandered....and wandered some more. No birthday party. I found the manager, and we wandered, and looked, and put the pink Princess cake into the movie theatre's fridge - and nada. Finally, I called my dear (and very pregnant) sister to confirm the location. Lo' and behold - she told me the wrong movie theatre!!! ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The new walk of shame is carrying a very large pink Princess cake spectacular OUT of a movie theatre.....

The Cakes....Finally!

Postings of cakes!

Cake #1 from the Wilton (We want as much of your money as possible - we ARE a cult!) Cake Decorating Course. I asked Rob what colour cake to make - he said pink - so he got PINK!!!

With purty white flowers no less. Im sure Rob's feminine side was pleased.

Next cake was the rainbow cake - with dark dark depressing clouds as Im so cheery!

I like to think that the butterfly adds a certain element of light and life!

Finally, we have the Plethora of Flowers Cake. And yes, I made all of the flowers out of ICING! Im uber-talented that way....

Now I just wait for the orders to come rolling in.....anyone? ANYONE??

Its August??!?!?!?

A number of folks have been complaining that I have not updated my blog as of late. What? A blog posting every three months isnt enough? Fine. Grumble, grumble.

So, update on the last three months:

Kiernan: He is now loooooooooooooooong, long and skinny! He has outgrown his bouncy chair and his bucket car seat. He can pretty much sit - so long as someone is nearby to catch him when he falls over. He drools. And babbles. And screams. And makes the most lovely farting noises with his mouth.

My Life: Uh, nuttin.' I made a few more cakes - pictures are on the other computer though :( Quit my job and mastered the art of weed killing. I have learned the numerous uses of baby wipes - including dusting and cleaning glass. In sum - I need a new hobby.

So, until some sort of inspiration hits and I come up with some brilliance for this blog (or I find those darn pictures of the cakes on the other computer...) here are some updated photos of the boy.

Kiernan channels Elvis (in Memphis no less...)

Kiernan is oh so impressed with the zoo...

Luckily he still loves the bath....

And, of course, his MOMMY!

Cake Attempt #3: The Easter Cake Off

As indicated in my last posting - the next cake I decided to perfect was the lemon cake. Luckily, this just so happens to be my favourite cake in the world! Drool, drool, yum, yum. I love lemon cake so much that I insisted it be my wedding cake. But, I digress.... Not to be outdone, the Domestic Goddess suggested that she make a lemon cake as well and that we turn it into a competition. DONE! The DG's sister was subsequently added to the competition due to her reputation as an uber talented cake decorator.

To add legitimacy to the competition I created a score sheet and suggested that our significant others be the judges. Admittedly, the score card was perhaps not that politically correct. But it amused me, and that's what counts.

Next, I googled away to try and find an appropriate recipe. The DG and I decided it had to be an iced lemon cake, not a glazed or loaf so it took some time to find an appropriate recipe. Finally I found a random lemon cake with lemon cream cheese icing. Sounded delish! Unfortunately, as you will see, going with a recipe from a random website was a mistake....

Easter Sunday Morning...

Being a good wife, I let the husband sleep in on Easter Sunday morning as the poor man had been getting up early all week between work and helping his brother with a patio door installation (hellooooo brownie points!). I got up with ze boy nice and early, fed and changed him (and washed my hands of course!) and began my lemon cake creation. As it was early, I had to bake while drinking the required cup of coffee:

During the process I had a pretty good audience. One member of the audience was there due to the fact that really, he couldnt go anywhere else and because he ADORES ME! The second was...well....just hoping something would drop on the floor and she could eat it.


Rob would have joined in except for his sleep in (hee hee!)...




Things were going well until I learned that I had to beat egg whites and add them carefully to the batter. I noticed that without the egg whites there just didn't seem to be much batter but pushed on anyways and put it into the pan for baking. As the cake baked, I noticed an egg smell seemed to be emanating from the oven - NOT a good sign. When I took the cake out of the oven it was also noticeably quite....small. Here is a video to share the experience...



Later I decided to taste the cake as I was quite concerned with the egg-y smell. The taste test proved me correct. I had created a lemony-cakey-frittata. If anyone wants the recipe, just let me know!

After a short break (laundry, feeding baby, coffee drinking etc) I decided to go back to the experts (Chatelaine and Canadian Living magazines) and found a recipe with a high rating. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough butter and what with the stores closed I had to call and beg the sister to drop some off on her way to a play date. And I mean beg. It was rather like the proverbial pound of flesh!

I ended up making a lemon cupcake recipe (doubled to make it a cake) with a lemon glaze and decided to use the lemon cream cheese icing from the previous recipe. Here is attempt #2 before it entered the oven:



And after - looking pretty good! And smelled pretty darn good as well....drool, drool, yum, yum.



So the decorating began. The husband agreed that the icing was to DIE for. But I had noticed that it was a bit too liquid-y for proper decorating. At any rate, I ploughed ahead:

And the final result!



So How Was It? I rate this cake a 4 out of 5. The cake was a bit on the heavy side but was quite good due to the use of the glaze. A lovely but not too lemon-y flavour. The cream cheese icing was so good I'm thinking I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day though next time I will definitely use more icing sugar to ensure the right consistency for decorating.

How Did it Score? In order to ensure that I had a good range of comments I had the hubby, the brother in law, the sister and the mother all score me. My father was exempt due to the fact that he doesn't like lemon cake and is therefore INSANE.

The cake rated a solid "very good" with a few "goods" and a few "OMG's!" The icing consistently ranked in the "OMG" territory. A definite keeper.

As for presentation - this was lacking. Due to the softness of the icing the top layer slid to the side during transportation. As a result, many felt that I was drunk while decorating or at least should have been. My cake subjects were a little more split on the question as to whether or not it reminded them of Jesus rising from the dead - in a good way of course.

Comments were as follows:

Re: Drinking: "2 beer only - looks like the leaning tower of Pisa"

"top layer sliding off"

Re: Asking for Cake Again: "I eat anything that is free." Ummm. Thanks?

Next cake to perfect? The cheese cake!!!!

Cake Attempt #2

On my recent trip to Medicine Hat, I decided (with full agreement from my hostess) to try another chocolate cake recipe. This time, the aim was to create a denser, heavier chocolate cake that would obtain the illusive (okay not that illusive) 5 out of 5 grading.

My fearless friend suggested the "You are Going to Die Anyways" chocolate cake from the Crazy Plates cookbook. This delightful recipe includes such ingrediants as cream cheese, whipping cream, coffee and sugar...lots and lots of sugar. Although the process was much more complex than the last chocolate cake attempted - it was worth the effort.

First - I prepared the wet ingrediants while Karen prepared the dry. The end result looked something like...well...this....

I then combined the wet and dry ingrediants while Karen entertained my boy - with belly tickles...

We put the cakes (two layers after all - was supposed to be three but we ran out of pans. It will soon become obvious that this was the first in many blunders) into the oven and began to start the icing. The icing was quite complex requiring melting chocolate AND using the stove top. Luckily Karen took over this task while I entertained her boy with my attempts at teaching him my name and of course, playing ball.





Upon taking the cakes out of the oven I discovered a crisis. The cakes were so dense and so moist that they...sadly...were sticking to the pans. WHAT TO DO? Well, I waited till Mama Karen finished putting my buddy Vaughn to bed and asked for her wisdom (figuring that she is the self proclaimed Domestic Goddess while I was only aiming to be Holly Homemaker). Upon her return to the kitchen, Karen offered up this sage advise.... "wack the pan." And so she did. The result - mmmm - not so pretty.

Unfortunately, between cake making and the entertaining of boys it was time for bed so the remaining cake decorating had to be postponed till the next day.

The Next Day...

The next morning, I began to ice the cake and discovered yet another problem. Due to the denseness and moistness of the cake, the cake itself had a tendency to crumble while being iced. To add insult to injury, the cakes were not equivalent in size!!! In a panic, I called DG Karen to advise. Her sage advice was once again profound...."cover it in icing, lots and lots of icing" she said. So, she did.

Now why on earth she would make a pile of icing on top that looked like cow dung, I will never know. Although it could be the eau de Chapeau de Medicine that influenced her.

Not to be outdone by her sweeeeeeeeeet decorating skills I suggested that we added my travel gnome, Seamus, to the cake in honor of St. Patty's Day and drunkeness. The final result looked something like this:

So How Was It? This cake was positively drool worthy. The cream cheese based icing was to die for and the thick dense but ohhhhh sooooo goood cake itself was a wonderful compliment. I give this cake a 5 out of 5 and will definetly make it for others to enjoy.

There is only one problem however. What to perfect now? Ah yes, the lemon cake.

A test of strength....

Am I going to sign up for a power lifting competition? Nope. But I am going to test my strength.

Today I went to a breast feeding store (yes, they have such things) and bought two, rather expensive, tank tops especially designed for the task of breast feeding your baby. They really are quite...supportive. On the way home I was thinking about how many clothes I had...and in so many sizes. Thin clothes. Pre pregnancy clothes. Maternity clothes. Post pregnancy clothes.

So I made a decision. Until July 1st (Oh Canada....) I WILL NOT BUY ANY MORE CLOTHES!!!! The only exception will be pantyhose - in case I need to wear a skirt somewhere and its not warm enough to go without. Instead I will focus my energies on working out and getting back into shape so that I can wear either my pre-pregnancy clothes or even better - the thin clothes.

I will keep this blog updated on this journey. Im sure it will be difficult - especially if I see a cute shirt somewhere...or skirt....or pants....or (god help me) a PURSE!

Cruisin' for a Bruisin'

Ms. Karen of the Chapeau de Medecin seems to think she can out bruise the QUEEN OF ALL BRUISES! Observe, if you will, evidence of her arm bruise post blood test.

Now check out mine....

I rest my case.

Cake Baking: Attempt #1

In my attempt to become holly home maker, I have now taken on the task of making beautiful and scrumptious cakes. For a number of reasons I wont be able to take a cake decorating course until April, but that doesnt stop me from trying to make tasty ones now!!

Attempt #1 is an attempt at a simple chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream. Recipes courtesy of Chatelaine and Canadian Living - figured I couldnt go wrong with those magazines.

The cake was pretty darn easy to make - just a few dry ingredients and some wet. Though I did have to buy some buttermilk to make it with. The batter ended up being somewhat dry and I was a little worried. But in the oven it went. The end result wasnt too bad - or at least it didnt look too bad in the baking pan.

Then I started the icing. This required a cup of butter plus 5 cups of icing sugar and 1/2 cup whipping cream. Topped off with some vanilla extract. Needless to say it was a messy messy process.

Of course, I had to ice the cake. This was after I ate quite a bit of the icing though...it was soooo good.

Rob tried it and agreed!

And here I am with my creation prior to icing..
The almost final result...
But I decided it needed some colour..
And finally - the look on the inside..
So How Was It?? We gave this cake a 4 out of 5. The cake was light and fluffy with a lovely concentrated chocolate flavour. The icing was super delish - so long as you like sweet. The only reason for this cake NOT receiving a 5 out of 5 was that we felt that although it was quite good, it was not quite (yet) drool worthy...but we did scrape our plates!

Did I mention that now we exercise like fiends?

The Horror! The Horror!

Ever since pregnancy my body has rebelled. In sum, I hurt. Everything hurts. Let us itemize the aches, pains and trauma's courtesy of pregnancy, child birth, and caring for baby.

1. Hair: My hair is grey. Before I got pregnant I had a streak which ran from my right temple back. Now, Im salt and pepper. The cosmetics industry is about to be supported by my hair dye purchases.

2. Facial Skin: The weird acne continues. Newest strange spot to find a zit? The ear lobe and GET THIS - on the ear, but on the backside. WTF??

3. Neck and Shoulders: Needless to say - the neck and shoulders are a mess. My right shoulder has a constant case of tendonitis due to lifting the baby, lifting the baby + car seat, lifting the stroller, etc. etc. I also like to collect and retain knots in my trapezius muscles for the same reasons as well as craning my head down to see the baby while breast feeding.

4. Lower Back: Ah back labour, tho art NOT my friend! Since delivery of my little guy, my lower back is in a constant state of pain. Even massage hasnt helped. Why god, why?

5. Hips: Ditto!

6. Legs: For some reason my knee joints hurt. But I just read up on that and have learned its due to relaxin - the hormone that is released during pregnancy to keep your joints loose. Eventually it goes away. Either that or I will continue to walk like a 90 year old.

7. Feet: Goodbye pretty shoes! Hello frumpy wear!!!! Without proper support the feet ache. And then the knees ache, then the back aches.....

So, the question remains....given all the aches and pains - would I do it again? Absolutely (though next time Im lining up a massage therapist and purchasing a hot tub to boot!).

Open Letter ....Part Two

The creature with Ms. Nilla....

Open Letter from the Campbell-Renaud Pets...

Dear World:

Two months, two weeks ago our lives were irreversibly changed - and we arent happy. Our dear owners - okay only the female one was 'dear', the male one was known to dislike us and our bad behaviour on many occasion, the female one was at least suckered in by our cute looks - brought home a creature. A fur-less, yet odor filled, and vocal creature that has taken away all the attention from us.

Said creature seems to attach itself to the female owner at times when we NEED to go outside to do our business or just go sniff and eat our former business. The dog of our group, Ms. Nilla, would like you to know that her walks have diminished drastically. And the cats - Ms. Brandy and Mr. Jake - would like you to know that our cuddles have also dramatically disappeared as have our spots on the couch due to this creatures gear.

We have some photographic evidence of this creature and will post it later. In the interim, we beg for your intervention on our behalf.

Regards,
Ms. Nilla (a.k.a. Pretty Girl), Ms. Brandy (a.k.a. Punkin'), Mr. Jake (a.k.a. Chub Chub, Chuckles)

Motherhood - Part Two

Motherhood - Part One