Sadly, Belly Button Watch 2009 is now over. On the upside -
Kiernan is now here. Sure, 5 weeks early (not by our choice, the doctor seemed to think that having such high blood pressure was a risk to me...or something) - but here none the less.
This blog posting will fill you in on the labour experience - or at least my labour experience. I will not sugar coat anything. Though this could because I did it without any pain killers. Again, not by my choice, the doctor seemed to think that 9.5 cm was too late for an
epidural.
Phhhhhtttt I say!!!!
So here I am at the beginning of labour. They call this
Stage One. I call this "Am I in labour yet?" and "can I get a
tv Im bored..." This stage is dominated by mild contractions which are totally
deal-able - unless they are right after the other - which mine were. I was mostly irritated but
didnt show it here...
Stage Two of labour was more intense and was dominated by contractions which, quite frankly, hurt. Of course my body decided back labour was a good way to go, so my poor husband Rob had to massage my back for a good six hours or so. Thank gawd for good husbands!!! I also spent a lot of time bonding with
Eggbert. Who is
eggbert you ask? He was my inflatable exercise ball in the shape of an egg. I loved him (and sat on him) so much I had to name him. I wanted Robbie to take a pic of him but they took him away before we had the chance to have a proper goodbye. Needless to say there are no pics from Stage Two but we did take (earlier on) a picture of the belly to prove that my belly button did not pop in time for
Kiernan's arrival.
Pooey!
Stage Three of labour was...how do I put this...hell. This is when you go from 7 to about 10
cms dialated and the baby descends down. Oh, and you push it out. I THOUGHT I WOULD LOSE MY MIND! I did manage to
squeek out "
epidural" but was denied as it was already time to push. There are
DEFINITELY no pictures of this stage as Rob was too busy having his skin pulled off of his arm and then pushing my leg up around my ears so that I could get the baby out. Oh, and I may have told him off at this point too.
Woops. Sorry hon. But, after 30 min of unbelievable pain and 20 minutes of pushing - my little man was here! As you can see - he was filled with joy at his arrival...
But my belly was now fully deflated...
And I was fully exhausted...and silly looking...
Now, to summarize, the top ten things I learned from labour:
1.
Dont expect anything. Nothing you could possibly plan for or expect will actually happen. Oh, except for having a baby at the end of it.
2. Get an
eggbert. You may not use it but if you do - he will be your best friend.
3.
Epidural -
sign up for one when you get a positive pregnancy test.4. Pack your bag at six months of pregnancy. Just in case. Otherwise your husband will have to go back and forth to the house, twice a day, and pay twice the parking expense!
5. When the doctor or nurse says you will feel "pressure" what they mean is "PAIN".
6. You
dont get to decide when to push. Oh no. Your body decides for you.
7. Put on lots of deodorant - you are bound to sweat about 10 gallons once hard labour hits.
8. They call it "hard labour" because you think you will LOSE YOUR MIND. Luckily its temporary.
9. Grannie panties - they are a must post labour!
10.
Epidural -
SIGN UP FOR ONE WHEN YOU GET A POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST!!!!
Kiernan was less impressed.
Outfit #3 was the classic Santa outfit. Kiernan was sorely lacking in the "belly like a bowl full of jelly" department but he did fill his diaper with a spinach like poo!
