Now that Nilla has had a taste of 'the blood,' she has out of control. My formerly dear sweet dog is now researching which birds have the best taste!
Sadly, I think she has found one...
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sara Palin Infiltrates Canada!
For your consideration I present "Kimberley." She is the lady on the far left in the photo above. You may have to click on it to get a better close up.
Kimberley CLAIMS to be a Canadian from British Colombia who strongly advocates for Human Rights and has lived and travelled throughout Africa (she MUST have a passport then!). I have my doubts. Check out Sara Palin below....
Thursday, September 11, 2008
My baby is a murderer!!!
Three years ago I had a baby. A blond hair, brown eyed baby who was potty trained although she did have bad hygiene habits such as eating her own poop and licking her yoohoo. I named her Nilla.
For the past three years Nilla and I have become quite fond of each other. I dont judge her when she eats old pizza crusts laying on the street and she doesnt judge me when I eat my 10 tenth chocolate chip cookie of the day. Nilla understands my love of sleep and will keep me company during nap time, snoring away contentedly. Nilla also keeps me company for long walks, short or long jogs and weeding in the garden. She was a great baby girl.
But our idyllic life has been shattered. My Nilla is a murderer. The other day she took a harmless bird into her once gentle mouth and started crunching. I could hear the death "cheeps' of the bird as I stood frozen in horror on the back deck. I tried to rescue the bird...I tried! But in her murderous state, Nilla ran away to decapitate the innocent bird and then proceeded to eat the rest of its beautiful, and now dead, body. Feathers and all.
Nilla is still with me but I cannot look at her the same way. She is no longer the sweet, gentle animal who played with the cats and licked my hands affectionately. No, she is the heartless killer who ignored the "cheep cheep" of the bird as her blood lust overwhelmed her.
In fact, I took a picture of Nilla post murder so that you all might see the change in her disposition.
Tell me - what is a mother to do???
For the past three years Nilla and I have become quite fond of each other. I dont judge her when she eats old pizza crusts laying on the street and she doesnt judge me when I eat my 10 tenth chocolate chip cookie of the day. Nilla understands my love of sleep and will keep me company during nap time, snoring away contentedly. Nilla also keeps me company for long walks, short or long jogs and weeding in the garden. She was a great baby girl.
But our idyllic life has been shattered. My Nilla is a murderer. The other day she took a harmless bird into her once gentle mouth and started crunching. I could hear the death "cheeps' of the bird as I stood frozen in horror on the back deck. I tried to rescue the bird...I tried! But in her murderous state, Nilla ran away to decapitate the innocent bird and then proceeded to eat the rest of its beautiful, and now dead, body. Feathers and all.
Nilla is still with me but I cannot look at her the same way. She is no longer the sweet, gentle animal who played with the cats and licked my hands affectionately. No, she is the heartless killer who ignored the "cheep cheep" of the bird as her blood lust overwhelmed her.
In fact, I took a picture of Nilla post murder so that you all might see the change in her disposition.
Tell me - what is a mother to do???
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Of Jogging Bra's and Jiggling
For those of you with larger chests - you will understand my pain....
Since taking the Learn To Run course at the Running Room (a cult like no other - Scientologists have nothing on these folks) I have been searching for the perfect jogging bra. Note that I say 'jogging' and not 'running.' Im nothing if not honest.
In the last couple of years, the need for a jogging bra which would strap down the girls and prevent them from even thinking about moving has passed being a 'want' and become a 'dire need'.
Imagine if you will, a large girl like myself, has three layers to her body. There is the core which contains such wonderful things as organs and blood. Second layer includes your normal layer of body fat. Your third layer includes superfluous body fat - what I like to call the boobs and the butt.
As I jog down the streets of Renfrew all three layers are moving in different directions. Core body goes down with the foot hitting the ground and with...gravity. First layer of body fat also goes down as is only proper. Boobs and butt decide to rebel and go up as the rest of the world goes down - producing a quite unsightly image.
I have attempted to discourage this rebellion of boobs and butt by searching for the best jogging bra. I have purchased the expensive ones with fancy ventilation and posh names for sweat. No luck. I have purchased the cheaper ones to layer with the expensive bras and double layered. No luck. I have even *gasp* contemplated the triple layering.
Finally.....FINALLY..... I have found the perfect jogging bra. Nike? Nope. Reebok? Nope. New Balance? Not even. Nope...got it at Sears. The wonderful land of Sears.
The bra is (insert drum roll here)... Warners Style No. 03200. Designed by Catriona Lemay Doan - Canadian Olympic Speed Skater. The bra, as you will see, is not pretty but boy oh boy can it strap the girls down. It has a three pronged back enclosure - better by which to strap down the back fat - and an adjustable shoulder strap which is always good when pretending that the girls are as perky as they once were. It is...in sum....a miracle. And cheap too! A mere $38.00.
So, to Catriona Lemay Doane and to Sears I raise the girls high and thank them for a pain free jog!
Since taking the Learn To Run course at the Running Room (a cult like no other - Scientologists have nothing on these folks) I have been searching for the perfect jogging bra. Note that I say 'jogging' and not 'running.' Im nothing if not honest.
In the last couple of years, the need for a jogging bra which would strap down the girls and prevent them from even thinking about moving has passed being a 'want' and become a 'dire need'.
Imagine if you will, a large girl like myself, has three layers to her body. There is the core which contains such wonderful things as organs and blood. Second layer includes your normal layer of body fat. Your third layer includes superfluous body fat - what I like to call the boobs and the butt.
As I jog down the streets of Renfrew all three layers are moving in different directions. Core body goes down with the foot hitting the ground and with...gravity. First layer of body fat also goes down as is only proper. Boobs and butt decide to rebel and go up as the rest of the world goes down - producing a quite unsightly image.
I have attempted to discourage this rebellion of boobs and butt by searching for the best jogging bra. I have purchased the expensive ones with fancy ventilation and posh names for sweat. No luck. I have purchased the cheaper ones to layer with the expensive bras and double layered. No luck. I have even *gasp* contemplated the triple layering.
Finally.....FINALLY..... I have found the perfect jogging bra. Nike? Nope. Reebok? Nope. New Balance? Not even. Nope...got it at Sears. The wonderful land of Sears.
The bra is (insert drum roll here)... Warners Style No. 03200. Designed by Catriona Lemay Doan - Canadian Olympic Speed Skater. The bra, as you will see, is not pretty but boy oh boy can it strap the girls down. It has a three pronged back enclosure - better by which to strap down the back fat - and an adjustable shoulder strap which is always good when pretending that the girls are as perky as they once were. It is...in sum....a miracle. And cheap too! A mere $38.00.
So, to Catriona Lemay Doane and to Sears I raise the girls high and thank them for a pain free jog!
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