How to get a pill down Jake's throat...

Step 1: Using your 'nice' voice, call him over. Con him into thinking food is involved.

Step 2: Pick him up and put in your lap, ensure that the pill is easy access.

Step 3: Clutch his head in your hand and pry open his jaw. Use soothing voice.

Step 4: Elbow Nilla out of the way.

Step 5: Pop pill into mouth, shut, blow up his nose.

Step 6: Elbow Nilla out of the way.

Step 7: Take pill from side of cats mouth - repeat step 3.

Step 8: Tell Nilla to get the heck away before you kick her lab butt.

Step 9: Repeat step 5.

Step 10: Pat Jake on head and release. Feed him treats. Repeat steps #4, 6 and 8.

LIARS!!!!

So I ran a 5km "fun" run during one of the big storms of the season. On St. Patty's Day no less, at 9 in the morning. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Oh right, I wasnt.

The run wasnt actually that bad. I think it was due to my handy dandy new puffer that I actually finished in a reasonable time. Reasonable. Hah! I almost beat my best time EVER BAAABYYYYY!!! Yeah, okay, Im proud.

But here is where the lying part comes in. Running Room always *claims* to have the results up on their website. Sometimes even photos. Well. It is now (checking calendar) two days post race and.....nada. Nothing. Zip. Liars! I guess when you hold the information you hold the power?

Dont believe me? Check it our for yourself - http://www.events.runningroom.com/site/?raceId=2661

Blowhard

Ever work with a blowhard? I do. Boy do I ever!!! This man is so full of his own opinions that I could scream. Since Im on a conference call with him as I speak, I cant, but I will via this blog...





AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

So far I have heard his indisputable opinions on Ministers of Defence wearing uniforms, prayer meetings, Zimbabwe and why he should be treated like god.

More like a demon...

Detoxification

Yep. Lost my mind and put the man and I on a detox diet for the week. No meat, no wheat, no dairy, no refined sugar. Made an exception for the half caf-half decaf coffee though. No need to lose our minds here!

So how do we feel? In sum. Gassy.

Im only half kidding. You subsist on a diet of chick peas and tofu for a week and see what your intestines have to say! But once that passed - scuse the pun - I felt much less bloated and much less lethargic. In sum - I felt like the woman I never was!

So I will keep it up during the work week me thinks, and see how it goes. Cows can now be safe from me!

I am a failure...

Is there such a thing as lunch time supervisor rehab? If so, I need to go!

The kids are increasingly turning a deaf ear and blind eye to me. Sigh. One on one, they listen and we are kosher. As a class - foregetabouit!

Things I have tried to date and their results:

• Yelling. Result: Sore throat.


• Public Shaming (i.e. putting list on board of students mis behaving for teacher to follow up on). Result: Long lists.


• Three strikes - then you go in the hallway. Result: Kids in hallway looking bored. No effect on kids in classroom.


• Threat of detention. Result: Not much 'cause I have to be outside. Which means finding a teacher to do detention. And they are all on lunch.


• Look threatening. Theory goes that if you stand quietly they will begin to notice and settle down 'cause they know they are in trouble. Result: I stand quietly looking like a dorkus while kids act like heathens.

Thus, I am a lunchtime supervisor failure.

I want a Stewie....

Look at that little face - need I say more???????

But the "man" says no. I tried to convince him that Stewie would provide Cadbury Easter Eggs. No go.