Of Jogging Bra's and Jiggling

For those of you with larger chests - you will understand my pain....

Since taking the Learn To Run course at the Running Room (a cult like no other - Scientologists have nothing on these folks) I have been searching for the perfect jogging bra. Note that I say 'jogging' and not 'running.' Im nothing if not honest.

In the last couple of years, the need for a jogging bra which would strap down the girls and prevent them from even thinking about moving has passed being a 'want' and become a 'dire need'.

Imagine if you will, a large girl like myself, has three layers to her body. There is the core which contains such wonderful things as organs and blood. Second layer includes your normal layer of body fat. Your third layer includes superfluous body fat - what I like to call the boobs and the butt.

As I jog down the streets of Renfrew all three layers are moving in different directions. Core body goes down with the foot hitting the ground and with...gravity. First layer of body fat also goes down as is only proper. Boobs and butt decide to rebel and go up as the rest of the world goes down - producing a quite unsightly image.

I have attempted to discourage this rebellion of boobs and butt by searching for the best jogging bra. I have purchased the expensive ones with fancy ventilation and posh names for sweat. No luck. I have purchased the cheaper ones to layer with the expensive bras and double layered. No luck. I have even *gasp* contemplated the triple layering.

Finally.....FINALLY..... I have found the perfect jogging bra. Nike? Nope. Reebok? Nope. New Balance? Not even. Nope...got it at Sears. The wonderful land of Sears.

The bra is (insert drum roll here)... Warners Style No. 03200. Designed by Catriona Lemay Doan - Canadian Olympic Speed Skater. The bra, as you will see, is not pretty but boy oh boy can it strap the girls down. It has a three pronged back enclosure - better by which to strap down the back fat - and an adjustable shoulder strap which is always good when pretending that the girls are as perky as they once were. It is...in sum....a miracle. And cheap too! A mere $38.00.

So, to Catriona Lemay Doane and to Sears I raise the girls high and thank them for a pain free jog!