Nilla Continues Her Sick Ways...

Now that Nilla has had a taste of 'the blood,' she has out of control. My formerly dear sweet dog is now researching which birds have the best taste!

Sadly, I think she has found one...

Sara Palin Infiltrates Canada!

For your consideration I present "Kimberley." She is the lady on the far left in the photo above. You may have to click on it to get a better close up.

Kimberley CLAIMS to be a Canadian from British Colombia who strongly advocates for Human Rights and has lived and travelled throughout Africa (she MUST have a passport then!). I have my doubts. Check out Sara Palin below....

My baby is a murderer!!!

Three years ago I had a baby. A blond hair, brown eyed baby who was potty trained although she did have bad hygiene habits such as eating her own poop and licking her yoohoo. I named her Nilla.

For the past three years Nilla and I have become quite fond of each other. I dont judge her when she eats old pizza crusts laying on the street and she doesnt judge me when I eat my 10 tenth chocolate chip cookie of the day. Nilla understands my love of sleep and will keep me company during nap time, snoring away contentedly. Nilla also keeps me company for long walks, short or long jogs and weeding in the garden. She was a great baby girl.

But our idyllic life has been shattered. My Nilla is a murderer. The other day she took a harmless bird into her once gentle mouth and started crunching. I could hear the death "cheeps' of the bird as I stood frozen in horror on the back deck. I tried to rescue the bird...I tried! But in her murderous state, Nilla ran away to decapitate the innocent bird and then proceeded to eat the rest of its beautiful, and now dead, body. Feathers and all.


Nilla is still with me but I cannot look at her the same way. She is no longer the sweet, gentle animal who played with the cats and licked my hands affectionately. No, she is the heartless killer who ignored the "cheep cheep" of the bird as her blood lust overwhelmed her.


In fact, I took a picture of Nilla post murder so that you all might see the change in her disposition.

Tell me - what is a mother to do???

Of Jogging Bra's and Jiggling

For those of you with larger chests - you will understand my pain....

Since taking the Learn To Run course at the Running Room (a cult like no other - Scientologists have nothing on these folks) I have been searching for the perfect jogging bra. Note that I say 'jogging' and not 'running.' Im nothing if not honest.

In the last couple of years, the need for a jogging bra which would strap down the girls and prevent them from even thinking about moving has passed being a 'want' and become a 'dire need'.

Imagine if you will, a large girl like myself, has three layers to her body. There is the core which contains such wonderful things as organs and blood. Second layer includes your normal layer of body fat. Your third layer includes superfluous body fat - what I like to call the boobs and the butt.

As I jog down the streets of Renfrew all three layers are moving in different directions. Core body goes down with the foot hitting the ground and with...gravity. First layer of body fat also goes down as is only proper. Boobs and butt decide to rebel and go up as the rest of the world goes down - producing a quite unsightly image.

I have attempted to discourage this rebellion of boobs and butt by searching for the best jogging bra. I have purchased the expensive ones with fancy ventilation and posh names for sweat. No luck. I have purchased the cheaper ones to layer with the expensive bras and double layered. No luck. I have even *gasp* contemplated the triple layering.

Finally.....FINALLY..... I have found the perfect jogging bra. Nike? Nope. Reebok? Nope. New Balance? Not even. Nope...got it at Sears. The wonderful land of Sears.

The bra is (insert drum roll here)... Warners Style No. 03200. Designed by Catriona Lemay Doan - Canadian Olympic Speed Skater. The bra, as you will see, is not pretty but boy oh boy can it strap the girls down. It has a three pronged back enclosure - better by which to strap down the back fat - and an adjustable shoulder strap which is always good when pretending that the girls are as perky as they once were. It is...in sum....a miracle. And cheap too! A mere $38.00.

So, to Catriona Lemay Doane and to Sears I raise the girls high and thank them for a pain free jog!

Eye Sore of Our Home: Edition Two: The Weed Garden

For those of you who have been to our house, you may have seen Eye Sore #2 - what I like to call the Weed Garden. Originally a sand pit for kids to play in, Rob and I just didnt know what to do with it. Although the dog sure liked laying in it.
After living here for three years, it finally came to me - fill it with bark chips and some decorate plants and....done! After some convincing, Rob came around to the brilliance of my idea as well ;)

Step One: Convince dog to take a picture with the weeds:


Step Two: Put tarp on weeds:


Step Three: Put bark on tarp. Or rather get husband to put bark on tarp as you weed the front gardens.


Step Four: Have said husband pose with his work...


Step Five: Stick some decorative potted plants in the bark...and...DONE!!!

Eye Sore of Our Home: Edition One: The Desk

Im taking ... uh.....a page? .....from Karen's blog and will be showing Rob and my attempts at home improvement. Its called - selling the house.

Eye Sore #1 of our home - the desk. Rob and I decided to buy a new desk when I quit the PC (YAHOOO BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME) and went to working from home on a contract basis. With two computers and oodles of files - we just needed more space.

Not being overwhelmed with cash - we toodled off to the AECL annual garage sale and bought a hideous but big desk for $20 and set it up in my new home office. As you can see below...it was rather hideous...

This past Saturday, while searching for organisational items at our local Ikea, we saw...THE DESK. A tempered glass top with the word 'love' written on it in different languages, with a base of your choice. http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/20120799

We just had to have it! (Although I did warn Rob it would be the height of femininity.) Sunday - after an hour of dismantling the old desk and bringing it to the garage - and another hour of assembling the Ikea items - THE DESK was up and operational and I am now sitting at it to write this blog. Its BEAUTIFUL and makes the room seem much bigger. Bring on the open houses!

Grandmothers, Wonderland and Puppies!

Rob and I took a road trip this weekend to Toronto to visit with my 18 year old cousin Naomi. Naomi just graduated from high school and had come to Ontariofrom northern British Columbia for her graduation gift. Having not seen her since she was fifteen, I thought it would be a good chance to catch up and perhaps go to Wonderland as well. I was psyched: But the cats sure looked worried, but more on this later:


First things first - the drive. It was non-eventful. Except for when I asked Rob to talk to me and he whined "I dont want tooooooooo". Ah love. So, to entertain myself - I took a pic of the 401 as we entered the T dot.

I also asked Rob if he had remembered to feed the cats and leave them some extra food for the weekend as I surely hadnt. #(*$&*#^ he said. Damn. Two hungry cats to look forward to when we get home.

Now, for the visit with my grandmother. Gotta love Nana C. 87 years old and she acts as though she is only 67. Its fabulous! Nana kindly agreed to take us in for the weekend and provide some sleeping space. What this translates into is Hubby and I sleeping in seperate bedrooms. Not because we arent allowed to sleep in the same bedroom - we are married so its okay in her eyes. Nope, its due to tiny, itty bitty, ancient beds.

Bedroom #1 is the blue bedroom.
Bed size: Double. (Two people, near or over 6 feet tall + double bed = arguement)
Interesting Feature: Pictures of my grandfather, father and uncle stairing down at you.
Creepy Feature: Bedroom my grandfather used while dying of cancer.

Bedroom #2: Sewing Room.
Bed size: Single, foam mattress, lowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww to the floor.
Interesting Feature: Wall made out of cork board with pictures of the grandchildren when they were much younger and much uglier.
Creepy Feature: Pictures of the grandchildren when they were much younger and much uglier!!!
We arrived Friday night and promptly went to bed. Saturday morning - enjoying the video feature on the camera - I decided to film Nana C in her house coat. As you will see...she was impressed...





Enter the cousin. Naomi is a pretty pretty little little thing. As little as Karen you ask? mmmm. Just about. And she is training to be a big machine mechanic. Mining equipment and the like! She was likewise psyched to go to Wonderland with her 'cool' cousin (her words...not mine....damnit I AM COOL!) We picked her up in Bramalea and headed out. All was well until....Rob saw the walk from the parking spot:



He was NOT happy (though the short asian woman behind him didnt seem to mind). But more on this later...
Naomi was not bothered by the distance though....



Nor was I until I realized the length of the line to get in and just how stinkin' hot it was!





Luckily we found the water rides where I discoverd just how much taller I was than Naomi (and seemingly wider, hmmmmmm)....




...and some more roller coasters....




We then decided to head to Splashworks (http://www.canadaswonderland.com/attractions/category.cfm?ac_id=25) to cool off. Thus we had to head to the car and get our swim suits. Ummm. But we couldnt remember where said car was. Insert Rob being cranky here. Insert Rob feeling sick here. Insert Rob throwing up here. He he he. Okay the last part didnt happen but it almost did!!


After a long sunburnt day in Wonderland we headed to my Aunt's house for dinner and chit chat...until 2 in the morning. Boy was spritely 87 year old Nana C p*ssed off when we got home!




Flash forward....next day.


Out of the kindness of our hearts - we offered to pick up a three month old beagle puppy for a friend's Aunt. His name is Ziggy and he was a squishy, gooshy, loving cuddle bear of a puppy. And Rob said I couldnt keep him. For the sheer joy of it....here is Ziggy.

Oh, and the cats still arent speaking to me...